Crying about Boys in Toronto takes longer than anywhere else in the world

Today's Headlines:

Sandra Bullock & Elin Woods are headed to Divorce Court, Ricky Martin comes out of the closet and Toronto has the Worst traffic in the world.

What does all of this say? Men really suck, the ones that don't are gay and Toronto women have more time to cry about it as we sit in Gridlock. FML.

Ps. It's only Tuesday so not even the happiness of Hump Day can save us! Pffffft!

I love TIFFANY jewelry and I don't care if you think I'm a snob!

So I went to a seminar called Toronto #BlogStars. It rocked. The theme of the night? Be yourself... and then play that up. I found this information to be oddly inspiring. For the longest time, I've always conformed to what other people want me to be. You know what, FACK IT!
Now for most people that means that they are free to curse like truckers and dress like little Hipsters. That's what people expect when you say "Be Yourself". For me, it's quite the opposite. People always expect me to be cool and laid back, so I am. Truthfully, that's really not me. My family always used to taunt me for being a snob. So to downplay my tastes and try to disregard the "Snob" label, I shopped at Costa Blanca and wore Claire's jewelry. If I'm being honest though and am going to "Be Myself", then you know what, I don't like to curse and I find nothing at all "Cool" about using the Lord's name in vain. I love over-priced designers at Holt Renfrew and I would much rather buy something from Tiffany than eat for a week. Unwrapping the pretty blue box makes me 100,000x happier than the sound of a baby's laugh. I believe in love but I refuse to compromise my lifestyle for it. That's me. Love it or hate it, I WILL care for a little while but I'll get over it and probably thank you for giving me an excuse to do some "emotional shopping". Some might say that I resemble a gold digger. I laugh at that and respond by saying "I'm not a gold digger. I can by myself gold... It's diamonds that win me over". Now don't get me wrong. I'm not one to compromise love for money. They just go hand in hand. I'm self-sufficient and everything that I want, I buy for myself. I don't lean on my significant other for it. I just expect that he who loves me, is able to keep up. Now I know, this is where the eye-rolling and disgusted looks on your faces get climactic, but like I said before, you're only doing me a favour. So go ahead and smirk, but this princess isn't here to make you happy. It's about being myself, and look, here I am. Clearly you're interested, because, well, you're still reading. So come on Haters, BRING IT!

Does Canada need to change its National Anthem or does the Government just need a diversion to distract people's attention from the Federal Budget?

It was released today by Governor-General Michaëlle Jean during her speech from the Throne, that the idea has been proposed (by whom, she did not state) that the National Anthem be changed to reflect a more gender neutral feel. The part of the anthem that has prompted this inquiry is where we devotedly sing "In all thy SONS command". They are proposing that the part be changed to either "Thou dost in us command" - as the poem that inspired the anthem originally stated - or to "In all our hearts command". As a woman (the demographic that they are supposedly trying to please), I don't see the need for this. Anyone who comes to this country and sings our anthem knows that it was written well over a hundred years ago where the concept of "Politically correct" was as foreign as little martians were to us pre-ET. Nonetheless, what I find more puzzling, or rather coincidental than ever is that this idea was released on the same day that the new Federal budget is to be released. Coincidence? I think Not. I think this was all just a diversion to distract the attention of the general public so that things like how much money is allotted to health care becomes the more boring, and therefore less talked about issue than whether or not we should change our anthem. The same National Anthem that we so lovingly and proudly have been singing more frequently over the past month. I think the Government really needs to focus on more pertinent issues, and represent the people of this country more effectively, especially after being in hiatus for the past couple of months. We put up with a rogue government for long enough, now get back to work and stop trying to make us endure this insignificant banter. The anthem has remained successful for the past 150+ years, our deficit hasn't. How about they focus on the bottom $$ note as opposed to the bottom musical note!

Olympic Withdrawal

Yesterday after I finished work, I decided to go home and unwind by watching something on television. My first instinct was to turn to CTV and although my mind knew that the Olympics were done, my heart wouldn't be satisfied without being pulled through the misery of regular programming. So as I channel surfed, trying desperately to find something, anything, that would stimulate my mind and get my adrenaline pumping as much as watching my country win GOLD, I somehow ended up landing on The Bachelor. I don't know how it happened, but I must be a glutton for punishment. Shows like the Bachelor give reality TV a bad name. Wait, is that even possible? I know that's like calling the devil evil, but really, The Bachelor brings cheese and trash to a whole new level. On this season's finale, apparently cheese and trash ended up engaged! I remember watching a couple of episodes of the last season of The Bachellorette and apparently Jake, the guy who was now The Bachelor, was kicked off the show for being "Too Perfect". I have to say that the words HYPOCRITE just kept screaming loudly in my head as he kicked off the *better* of the two final choice of women that he had left on the show. As I tweeted and read my friends FaceBook status', it seems that I was not the only one that held Tenley (the "too perfect" contestant) at such a higher regard. Masses of women and men voiced their opinions about Jake's decision. He chose Vienna, who apparently was the least favourite choice. Watching the show, I had to agree with the masses. My personal opinion based on physical attributes was that Tenley was gorgeous while Vienna looked like a transvestite. My opinion based on the way the two women held themselves was that Tenley looked like the sweet girl next door while Vienna portrayed herself as the trashy girl who refuses to pay her trailer park rent on time. My opinion of their chemistry with Jake, the object of their desire, was that Tenley and Jake seemed like they belonged on a poster for "The Good Life". They were the ideal couple and looked like they would procreate some beautiful little blonde children and have a house with a white picket fence, living the All American Dream. Whereas, Vienna and Jake seem like they're headed for a relationship full of nothing but sexual chemistry and when that fizzles out (as it will when gravity gets a hold of the man-parts that she's trying to hide), she will inevitably cheat or he will wake up and want out... Nonetheless, whatever their future holds, I was sad to see that my past now included the self-inflicted-torturing memories of Jake and Vienna dancing to "The Wings of Love" by J. Osbourne. My Olympic withdrawal is at a maximum. Now I have to sign off so that I can book my flights to London in 2012! See you all across the pond!

Finishing as boring as we started…?

On Sunday, February 28th, Canadians made history. Our proud nation now officially holds the MOST GOLD MEDALS EVER to be won by any country in the world from the Winter Olympics, and especially by a host country. With a feat like this, one would assume that our Olympic organizing committee would want to put on a show that would celebrate our nation, not poke fun of it. Now I know that one’s logic would argue that the organizing committee would have planned the closing ceremonies ages before our medal count broke any records, but my rebuttal to that would be, “What about ‘Own the Podium’?” We were anticipating owning the Olympic Games and were not ready to settle for anything less, so why would you plan the closing ceremonies to platform the jokes that people already make about Canada? What should have been a showcase of our vibrant culture and celebrate the beauty of our land, turned out to be a poorly scripted (and even worse delivered) comedy-concert. It’s not to be said that we didn’t dance/sing along to the musical styling of Michael Buble, Nickleback, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette, Simple Plan, Hedley, K-os, Eva Avila, Derek Miller and Nikki Yanofvski.; or laugh to the jokes of Willam Shatner, Catherine O’Hara and Michael J. Fox (LOVED seeing him!), but what should have been a showcase of pride and talent turned out to look like a talent show. Although the talent that was nothing shy of brilliant, the concerts should have been saved for an after show, not the closing ceremonies. The most awe-inspiring portion of the show was delivered by the Russians, to showcase their abilities to host the next Winter Olympics in Sochi, with their Cirque du Soleil style delivery of entertainment…. Highly ironic since Cirque Du Soleil is in fact Canadian, and were noticeably missing at the Olympics. Thank heavens for the glowing pride of our athletes, like Joannie Rochette who represented Canada so beautifully as she brought in our flag waving it high and mighty, and the patriotic citizens of this grand country, who were able to outshine the dull of the closing ceremonies, with a zeal that will hopefully be the final embedded image for the world to recognize as truly Canadian.

17 days to revive a country...

Although I ranted and tirade about the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, my tantrums were slowly hushed as I saw the people of this country truly glow with patriotism. They say it takes a century to build a nation, but the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver showed the world that it only takes 17 days to revive a the pride of a country. Win, lose or didn't finish, our athletes stepped up. Ten days into the Olympics, certain government officials and dignitaries spoke about how Canadian athletes wouldn't be able to catch up to the American's or "Own the Podium". What did our athlete's do in response to this? They decided to go out and fight harder than they ever have before and our proud nation, decked out in a sea of red & white, rose to our feet, jumping with joy, with our flags held high and our voices belting out "Oh Canada" at the top of our lungs, cheered as the Men's Olympic Hockey team brought home the 6th Gold medal in 4 days! In 17 days we were able to break numerous records. We surpassed our personal best by obtaining more medals than our previous record, which was achieved in Turin, Italy at the 2006 Winter Olympic Games. We broke a world record by winning the most gold medals ever won by a host country. We smashed the record for the most Gold medals ever to be won by any country at the Winter Olympics too. Our athletes conquered these goals and our citizens supported them. With glowing hearts, red mittens and a rebranded patriotism, we prayed, laughed, cried and cheered for all of our athletes in ways we rarely have before. For the first time, Canadian's stepped up and claimed our heritage. In cities, towns and hamlets all across our great land, you would encounter an unfathomable mass of red and white pride. Canadians proudly donned their “Team Canada” jerseys and apparel. We sang in English and in French. We chanted our National Anthem with our hats off and our hands over our heart. We swayed to the song “I Believe”. We waved our flags and pumped our fists with those infamous red mittens. We danced with friends and strangers. We embraced our own and welcomed new friends from around the world. We applauded proudly for the athletes who won our hearts and became our heroes. We were changed. We were re-branded. We found an irrevocable love for our nation that was hand delivered by our new-found heroes. All of the athletes, from skiers and skaters to figure skaters and hockey players, did an outstanding job of restoring our people's faith in this country that had been frozen for so long. On behalf of our country, to all of the athletes and volunteers that worked tirelessly to deliver the BEST WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES that this nation has seen, with raised Red Mittens and smiles that will be embedded on us for ages to come, we Thank You.

Tonight, we Töten the German's Men's Olympic Hockey Team

So I didn't have a chance to blog about the pitiful Men's Hockey Olympic Game with Canada vs. The US on Sunday (I was too busy mending my broken heart and responding to the backlash e-mails that I got from my American friends). Hence, I MUST capture my thoughts going into tonight's "Do or Die" game with Canada vs. Germany. Now, unlike our game against the American's, I don't feel toooo much need to talk smack. I think everyone knows that Hockey is Canada's game (Thank you Coke for that making light of that with your Olympic slogan), and I think tonight our Men's Hockey team will *hopefully* step up and claim their rightful title as "The team to beat". HOCKEY IS CANADA'S GAME and while our premiere Goalie, Marty Brodeur may have forgotten that at the last game, my boy Roberto Luongo will start us off tonight and remind everyone again! Tonight we will Töten Germany! Hitler is crying in his cave in Hell!